Listed Tuesdays: 5 Ways I’ve Changed Because of My Wedding.

Hey, everyone! Today’s post is a link-up with the lovely Erica Jaquiline! Every Tuesday, she does a “Listed Tuesdays” link-up and I’d love to get into the habit of participating each week!

So, here’s my list: 5 Ways I’ve Changed Because of My Wedding!

1. I’ve become more flexible and level-headed.

I’m aware that, for the majority of my life, I’ve been the high-strung, inflexible girl who stresses out easily. However, throughout the wedding planning process (and especially the wedding day), I had to practice being calm and patient almost constantly. Being zen was a choice I had to make every moment during the wedding (particularly during the post-ceremony family shots? Ugh, those can be a nightmare, am I right?). Even during the honeymoon, with all the flights, confusing navigation, language barriers, and packing it would have been easy to lose my cool. To be honest, I think all that practice has really stuck with me since the wedding in my day-to-day life, and I try to consciously choose chill and calm as often as possible.

2. I’ve become more grateful.

My wedding was as wonderful as it was because I had so much help getting everything put together, planned, and set up. Sure, it was amazing just because it was my wedding day, but I feel so humbled by all the generous people (friends as well as family) who really went above and beyond just to do what they could to help. Whether it was absolutely stunning paintings done especially for me by my sister-in-law, Erin (see below!!) or getting the reception hall set up or contributing financially towards the wedding, I feel so blessed my the generosity and kindness of the people in my life.

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3. I love more.

Between cards and video messages and bridesmaids and new family and conversations and hugs, I’ve grown to know just how much more love I’m surrounded by than I thought. This, in turn, has made me feel more full of love than ever, and I feel like I try to speak and act on it more in my day to day life.

4. I spend less.

Uhhhh…. duh? Like, for real. I can’t jump at every impulse or promo code or flash sale anymore. Part of me misses this, most of me knows this is for the best (okay, all of me knows it’s for the best), especially since it’s been an issue for me in the past. That’s a whole other post for me to write. Maybe. Bottom line – it’s uncomfortable to have a joint account and share a budget, but it’s so good for you.

5. I more strongly advocate staying true to yourself.

Planning and envisioning a wedding involved a lot of soul-searching and pondering what’s really important to me and coming to understand what really isn’t so important to me. We wanted a first look. Many people thought that was crazy, but we knew it’d be important to us. I didn’t want to wear a blusher going down the aisle. I wanted dancing – no question (no way was I giving up my daddy-daughter dance opportunity!). All being said and done, I’m so happy with the way things turned out, but it took a lot of courage for me to be conscientious and self-aware enough to be able to discern what felt true to myself/ourselves and not get caught up in things “because they’re tradition” or because I felt it was expected of me. A handful of my friends are also planning weddings right now, and this has generally been my main piece of advice for them.

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Go check out Erica Jaquiline’s Listed Tuesdays and participate yourself! (I know I’m getting this post up late, so maybe ponder about a list for you to write about next week!)

Erica Jacquline

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Why We Work

For Valentine’s Day, Bonnie wrote a post  about why she and her husband work (for a link-up I missed. sad face.). I’ve been thinking about it since I read her post, and the idea of writing the same regarding my relationship has been brewing in my mind.

Last night I had a wonderful evening with my fiancee full of a great dinner, pre-marital counseling, and ugly-laughing at hilarious Youtube videos. Driving home, I felt especially grateful for my relationship and decided to finally write this post when I got home.

Why we work
We work because we’re individuals. We have out own friends, jobs, schedules, and tastes. We each have our own worlds, and we like it that way.
We work because our relationship is “should-free.” We know each other’s insecurities, strengths, weaknesses, an bad habits – and we love each other all the more for them. I don’t have to make dinner every single night, and he doesn’t mind getting Chinese takeout.
We work because we know it’s not always fun to be in a relationship, and we don’t take that personally. Sometimes one of us is having a really crummy day and in a funk and there’s just nothing the other can do to make it immediately better. And that’s okay.
We work because we don’t take other things personally. We don’t text each other compulsively all day everyday – and we know that’s not reflective of the quality of our relationship. I don’t think I’ve ever been in his Facebook profile picture (or that he’s ever had his relationship status on his profile) and that doesn’t mean anything’s wrong. Sometimes one of us just doesn’t feel like cuddling. And we know that’s not the end of our relationship.
We work because we ugly laugh. The kind of laughing where your mouth is just totally, unflatteringly wide open, your head is thrown back, you’re kinda crying, and you can’t even speak. This happens at least once on the daily. We thrive off of being goofy together, and that does miracles for our relationship.
We work because he’s bad at reading minds, and I’m bad at being subtle. Seriously, I just say whatever I need, want, or think. Which many people think is a fault (and it can be), but it’s a godsend for our relationship because what Luke really needs is for me to be upfront and never try that “hint-dropping” thing and hope he reads my mind. That system doesn’t work for either of us. He doesn’t end up getting it, and I’m too impatient to try and wait for him to.
We work because we’re not trying to impress each other.  It can be one of those days where I haven’t showered, am not wearing makeup, and am wearing sweats and he adores me and makes me feel just as special as any other day. I can make an accidentally crappy dinner and it’s no big deal.
We work because we both know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we’re on each other’s team, unconditionally. “You and me against the world.”
And, most importantly, we work because we both agree that if one of our children ever weirdly ends up with some kind of super power we would come alongside them and help them learn about and control it instead of hiding them away (see: obligatory pop culture reference to Frozen).

Wife2Wife Linkup: Marriage Goals for 2014

 

 

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I’m proud to say that this is my first link-up that I’ve participated in! Hurray!

So, this month, the linkup is about our marriage goals for 2014. I have to say that my list is probably quite different from a lot of the other ladies participating because I’m not even going to be married until May. However, I don’t believe that this means I’m not able to have goals for my marriage in 2014. Here’s a short list of some of the things I have in mind.

1. Actually GET married

I don’t think I really need to elaborate too much on this goal! I’m looking forward to being able to participate more in these linkups. =]

2. Obtain an actual table, at which to eat.

Hopefully, Luke and I can get a table into his apartment before we’re married, but I’m still making this a goal. Seriously – it sucks not having a table at all. (If you’re wondering why we don’t have one, it’s simply because he/we do not own one yet.) It’s so hard to feel productive and get papers and work done on the couch all the time! It also means we don’t get to sit and eat dinner together, really.

3. Start off being really, really organized.

I really want to start things off right by being one of those wives that has a home organizer binder and a bill schedule and maybe even meal planning (*gasp*). I don’t really know where to begin, but I feel like at that point, I won’t really have anything else on my plate to worry about, having graduated from college by then. Hopefully, I’ll have plenty of time to organize and label our cupboards and things.

4. Spend time with family regularly

Because Luke, his parents, and I all live pretty far away from each other, it never seems to quite work out to see our families as much as we’d like. Once we’re married and on the same schedule with school out of the way for both of us, I think it’d really make our lives that much happier to see our parents and siblings more often.

5. Be on the ball with post-wedding checklists

Thank you notes, gift returns, organization/putting things away, decorating a bit, legally changing my name, making a combined budget, etc. All things I really want to make sure I actually get around to getting done after the wedding!

6. Find a new place to live

After the wedding, I’ll just be making due with Luke’s bachelor pad for a couple months until his lease ends in August/September. I really hope to find a nice 2-bedroom apartment nearby that is a good price, and actually has counter space in the bathroom. Seriously. I’ll be living out of a suitcase at first and there’s absolutely no counter top in the bathroom. This may be the hardest thing about our first few months of marriage. Oy vey.

7. Pare down my own belongings

Speaking of moving in with Luke, I have wayyy too much stuff. On top of everything I’m hoping to get done before the wedding (uh, like, planning the wedding), I really need to set aside regular time to sort through all my junk.

Join the link-up here!