Listed Tuesdays: 5 Ways I’ve Changed Because of My Wedding.

Hey, everyone! Today’s post is a link-up with the lovely Erica Jaquiline! Every Tuesday, she does a “Listed Tuesdays” link-up and I’d love to get into the habit of participating each week!

So, here’s my list: 5 Ways I’ve Changed Because of My Wedding!

1. I’ve become more flexible and level-headed.

I’m aware that, for the majority of my life, I’ve been the high-strung, inflexible girl who stresses out easily. However, throughout the wedding planning process (and especially the wedding day), I had to practice being calm and patient almost constantly. Being zen was a choice I had to make every moment during the wedding (particularly during the post-ceremony family shots? Ugh, those can be a nightmare, am I right?). Even during the honeymoon, with all the flights, confusing navigation, language barriers, and packing it would have been easy to lose my cool. To be honest, I think all that practice has really stuck with me since the wedding in my day-to-day life, and I try to consciously choose chill and calm as often as possible.

2. I’ve become more grateful.

My wedding was as wonderful as it was because I had so much help getting everything put together, planned, and set up. Sure, it was amazing just because it was my wedding day, but I feel so humbled by all the generous people (friends as well as family) who really went above and beyond just to do what they could to help. Whether it was absolutely stunning paintings done especially for me by my sister-in-law, Erin (see below!!) or getting the reception hall set up or contributing financially towards the wedding, I feel so blessed my the generosity and kindness of the people in my life.

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3. I love more.

Between cards and video messages and bridesmaids and new family and conversations and hugs, I’ve grown to know just how much more love I’m surrounded by than I thought. This, in turn, has made me feel more full of love than ever, and I feel like I try to speak and act on it more in my day to day life.

4. I spend less.

Uhhhh…. duh? Like, for real. I can’t jump at every impulse or promo code or flash sale anymore. Part of me misses this, most of me knows this is for the best (okay, all of me knows it’s for the best), especially since it’s been an issue for me in the past. That’s a whole other post for me to write. Maybe. Bottom line – it’s uncomfortable to have a joint account and share a budget, but it’s so good for you.

5. I more strongly advocate staying true to yourself.

Planning and envisioning a wedding involved a lot of soul-searching and pondering what’s really important to me and coming to understand what really isn’t so important to me. We wanted a first look. Many people thought that was crazy, but we knew it’d be important to us. I didn’t want to wear a blusher going down the aisle. I wanted dancing – no question (no way was I giving up my daddy-daughter dance opportunity!). All being said and done, I’m so happy with the way things turned out, but it took a lot of courage for me to be conscientious and self-aware enough to be able to discern what felt true to myself/ourselves and not get caught up in things “because they’re tradition” or because I felt it was expected of me. A handful of my friends are also planning weddings right now, and this has generally been my main piece of advice for them.

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Go check out Erica Jaquiline’s Listed Tuesdays and participate yourself! (I know I’m getting this post up late, so maybe ponder about a list for you to write about next week!)

Erica Jacquline

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Wednesday Things

You get in life what you have the courage to ask for.

  1. Short wedding update: We don’t know anything about anything. Due to a recent sudden adjustment down to one income in my family, our vision for this wedding has really changed. However, I’m trying to stay positive, keep and open mind, and not be afraid to ask for help! This process is really testing our networking and connections. I know everyone says that “it’s who you know,” but, really, it’s who you know.  I’m adjusting and trying to be flexible. I know I started off the first couple weeks of being engaged getting so far ahead, but now I feel like I’m back behind square one. Send good vibes my way. I’m waiting to be led to all the answers!
  2. The deadline for my graduate school application is Saturday, and I have everything turned in! This feels so good. I have no idea whether or not I’m actually going to go, but I applied to start in Fall 2015, so I have time to take a break, enjoy getting married, seek other certifications/training, and generally just figure all that out later.
  3. Most of you have probably needed to obtain a letter of recommendation for college or grad school or whatever. I remember how great it felt to read the letters I needed from high school teachers for undergrad applications, but did you know that you can’t read them for grad school applications? Either the professors send them straight to the grad admissions office, or they have to seal it in an envelope with their signature over the seal and I have to deliver it. DO YOU KNOW how hard it is not to just crack open that sucker and read it? I’m so bummed I’ll never know what my favorite professors said about me! =]
  4. Also: Bummer of the day story! I had a few extra minutes before I needed to leave for class this morning, so I was browsing Twitter and saw that my school had posted about a career fair they were hosting today (no times or anything, just what room it was in). I frantically dug up my resume, dusted it off and updated it (btw I’m really proud of it now), printed a dozen copies, and ran out the door. I ended up being late to my class by a couple minutes and didn’t have time to grab coffee or breakfast. As soon as my class ended at 1 I ran over to the career fair – only to be told it had just ended at 1. So that was lame. Right after, I called a restaurant I had applied to last week and they told me they’re not hiring (of course they aren’t – it’s the slow season for every business). Sigh. I wonder what it’s like to work doing something you love.
  5. The pants I wore to look nice at the career fair did not allow me to wear my boots today, so all this walking around campus has left mud and salt and slush sprayed up on the back of my pant legs. Whomp whomp.
  6. I don’t know why, but lately I’ve been hearing a lot of really self-judgmental voices in my head. It’s really unhelpful. Every time I hear one I just respond with the opposite of what it said. Winter blues, maybe.
  7. I just got some gratitude pen pals! One of my all-time favorite gals, Brandy, has been emailing 3 simple things she is grateful for every day with her friend Amber for more than a year now. In my research as a wellness major, I know that just simply writing things down that you’re grateful for every day is extremely good for your psyche and attitude. I reached out on Twitter to ask for partners, and a couple people and I have started this practice. I’m happy to be investing in my attitude and promoting my own positive psychology!
  8. My laughter class is one I’ve mentioned a couple times previously, but I will continue to do so because I can’t even believe this is a class at my university. Last week, we spent a whole class period watching Bill Cosby stand-up routines. Last Wednesday, my professor walked in and said “today, we’ll focus on babies and children and the effects of laughter in those populations.” I was expecting an actual lecture that day. NOPE – we spent an hour watching baby videos on Youtube. On Monday, we spent the first 45 minutes of class all looking up funny Youtube commercials (Bad Lip Reading took the cake!).
    This is a real class, guys.
  9. I wanted to cut back on my subscription boxes this month, but it’s Valentine’s month coming up, so I’m just way too hopeful that all my boxes will be good ones!
  10. Everyone’s said it, but: IT’S COLD. All this bundling up while walking around and never ever taking my coat off and always having my feet be cold is just making me feel like I live in a constant state of… feeling cumbersome? Yeah. It’s just cumbersome to move around feeling cold and constricted all the time.

Good news: Even though I missed the career fair, at least I accidentally look professional for a presentation in my laughter class.

Join me in trying to stay positive, everyone. It’s not easy but just consciously making the effort helps your brain and attitude!