Wedding Reflections (and photos!)

 

     I’ve officially been married to the man of my dreams for 17 days now! It’s crazy to me to think that now my wedding day is a thing of the past and I’ve loved unfollowing every pinterest wedding board I’ve ever followed (except for my best friend’s, who got engaged the day after my wedding!). From the moment I walked into the rehearsal to see almost all of my extended family waiting in the church foyer for me and giving each one of them big hugs, I felt so much love and felt so very blessed all weekend. There’s been so much celebration and joy and anticipation in my life for months, and now it’s calm and quiet and peaceful (and oh so happy). 

     My wedding day was absolute perfection. There were like, maybe 2-3 bumps in the day but they’re so not even a big deal. Whenever people would ask me if I was going for any kind of theme, I’d simply say that my goal was for it to be one big celebration. And it was! I feel pure joy when I think about it (and when I re-watch my wedding’s highlight reel for the 1094235094094th time). Additionally, however, I just feel so incredibly grateful and humbled by the love and support which surrounds me. To see so many people come to my wedding to support our marriage and celebrate with us was so touching. Every moment was something sweet and every person was some one I was happy to have there. 

     It’s funny how everything works out. If you’ve been following my blog for some time at all, you probably know that there were a whole lot of obstacles on the way to planning everything. From my dad losing his job (and starting a new one), to me quitting a job I hated, to changing venues about 2 or 3 times… there were so many things that happened along the way that led us to have all of the details fall into place better than I could have imagined it. But everything worked out – a lot because it actually did, and a lot because I learned to let go of things and relax my controlling behavior. 

     I know, I know — pictures! Here comes the fun part! (I don’t have all of my photos in from my hired photogs, but I have some, and then also some great ones from family!)

My bridesmaids! My best gals!

Me, my parents, and my sister. We always look like this.

The whole wedding party. This was right after I shouted “Everyone, pretend you’re a spy!”

This is quite possibly my favorite picture from the whole day. It totally captures exactly how I felt the whole time.

Us, pretending we knew what we were doing while cutting the cake (why are there no rehearsals of that??).

At the end of my first dance with my Daddy!

 

Dancing with my Momma!

D

This was at the very end of the night. Luke and I had changed into our getaway clothes, and ran onto the dance floor for onelast song (Journey, of course), where everyone just surrounded us dancing. Right after this, everyone went outside to the front of the church for our sparkler send-off! 

Why We Work

For Valentine’s Day, Bonnie wrote a post  about why she and her husband work (for a link-up I missed. sad face.). I’ve been thinking about it since I read her post, and the idea of writing the same regarding my relationship has been brewing in my mind.

Last night I had a wonderful evening with my fiancee full of a great dinner, pre-marital counseling, and ugly-laughing at hilarious Youtube videos. Driving home, I felt especially grateful for my relationship and decided to finally write this post when I got home.

Why we work

We work because we’re individuals. We have out own friends, jobs, schedules, and tastes. We each have our own worlds, and we like it that way.

We work because our relationship is “should-free.” We know each other’s insecurities, strengths, weaknesses, an bad habits – and we love each other all the more for them. I don’t have to make dinner every single night, and he doesn’t mind getting Chinese takeout.

We work because we know it’s not always fun to be in a relationship, and we don’t take that personally. Sometimes one of us is having a really crummy day and in a funk and there’s just nothing the other can do to make it immediately better. And that’s okay.

We work because we don’t take other things personally. We don’t text each other compulsively all day everyday – and we know that’s not reflective of the quality of our relationship. I don’t think I’ve ever been in his Facebook profile picture (or that he’s ever had his relationship status on his profile) and that doesn’t mean anything’s wrong. Sometimes one of us just doesn’t feel like cuddling. And we know that’s not the end of our relationship.

We work because we ugly laugh. The kind of laughing where your mouth is just totally, unflatteringly wide open, your head is thrown back, you’re kinda crying, and you can’t even speak. This happens at least once on the daily. We thrive off of being goofy together, and that does miracles for our relationship.

We work because he’s bad at reading minds, and I’m bad at being subtle. Seriously, I just say whatever I need, want, or think. Which many people think is a fault (and it can be), but it’s a godsend for our relationship because what Luke really needs is for me to be upfront and never try that “hint-dropping” thing and hope he reads my mind. That system doesn’t work for either of us. He doesn’t end up getting it, and I’m too impatient to try and wait for him to.

We work because we’re not trying to impress each other.  It can be one of those days where I haven’t showered, am not wearing makeup, and am wearing sweats and he adores me and makes me feel just as special as any other day. I can make an accidentally crappy dinner and it’s no big deal.

We work because we both know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we’re on each other’s team, unconditionally. “You and me against the world.”

And, most importantly, we work because we both agree that if one of our children ever weirdly ends up with some kind of super power we would come alongside them and help them learn about and control it instead of hiding them away (see: obligatory pop culture reference to Frozen).

Enough

January is a month where we hear just SO MUCH about what people feel they need to fix, what changes they want to make, what they need to do more of, what they need to do less of, how much weight they want to lose, and the list goes on forever.

Recently, I’ve stumbled across the Unlost. It’s a site that has many articles, seminars, podcasts, etc, about being happy and loving the person you already are and the life you already have. The concept that we are already enough is a radical one in this day and age. After all, if we are already enough, then how would people sell things?

How would marketers sell things to women without telling them they’re broken and need something to fix them?

But I’m trying to see this concept in my life. When I feel like a mess, I just remember that this is normal and there’s no one that can be happily and robotically successful.

This is my last semester of college. I’m writing and updating To-Do lists like it’s my job. I’m tempted every moment to look around and think of all the things I should be doing, even if it’s not homework, and every morning criticizing how many things I didn’t complete on yesterday’s to-do list.

But I am so tired of this. This is no way to foster a happy brain or mental and emotional wellbeing. In six months or a year, what am I going to remember – the items on my to-do list that I didn’t check off, or feeling so guilty and insufficient my senior year of college?

Time for a happy change. =]

MUSIC ECSTACY

I have to put this out there.
I have no choice.
It’s perfect.
I can’t even explain how happy I am when I hear it.
I’m so happy it almost hurts, if that makes any sense.

GO BE HAPPY.

5 Years Time – Noah and the Whale

Well, then I look at you and say,
“It’s the happiest that I’ve ever been”
And I’ll say, “I no longer feel I have to be James Dean”
And she’d say, “Yeah well I feel pretty happy too
And I’m always pretty happy when I’m just kicking back with you”

The Best Conversation I’ve Had With A Public Schooler.

Ben: “That is the best thing about life: One day ends, another begins.”

Me: “And, perhaps, that is also the worst.”

“How do you see that?”

“That a good or great day has to end at all. If you’re a pessimist, then you know that, eventually, any good day leads to an awful one.”

“Any good day leads to a bad one because you see it as worse than the day before. But in the view of your life, it is nothing but a short time.”

“Then, maybe, we should realize hat each day is a completely other thing from another and, therefore, shouldn’t be compared.”

“Then in that respect, there is no such thing as a good or bad day because there is nothing to compare to.”

“Except that you derive more pleasure or happiness from the experience that one day brings than from that of another.”

“But does that make it bad? Does it mean it’s bad when you feel unhappy? Because you might regret a choice you made, making it ‘bad,’ when in reality, it was the best choice for you.”

“Ah. In the present, you may only know for sure that you are unhappy with a day until you get a chance to review it in hindsight, however far in the future that may be. You may realize that you really grew from an experience or choice, or learn to recognize similar situations. But that is no guarantee that you will ever be happy with any day.”

“Which only furthers my point.”

“Of course it does. We were both moving to towards the same point, we only presented different questions on the way there.”

Where’s the Smiling?

I’ve completely forgotten about my things to smile about!  I went all the way back to my last one and found out that I last listed #16 way back in “Maximum Capacity For Awesome.”

So. To make up for the ones I’ve lost, here I go….

Reason to smile #17:  Knowing the coolest people in the world.

#18: Having a rockin’ room I love.

#19: Flirting

#20: Chapstick.

#21: Doing something you love.

#22: Witty conversations.

#23: Books.  They just make me happy.

#24: Knowing some one who pretty much always wants to see you smile.

#25: Creating something.

#26: Snow days!

#27: Having no home work.

#28: Dear and the Headlights

#29: Owl City

#30: When some one asks “How are you?” and really wants to know the truth. 

#31: Spending time with Deanna.

#32: College acceptance letters!

#33: Having awesome legos- such as a pirate skeleton, a borg, a cowboy + rifles, two armed Indians, a pirate with a feather in his hat and a parrot, a greaser with a red bandana, a leather jacket, and a knife, and a nice man with a gas mask – standing in a line on your desk shelf.

#34: Not having any clue to what wear, but ending up finding a really cute outfit in your closet.

 

So SMILE.  =]

Consider My Fingers Crossed.

Crossed for the next two days to pass quickly (Christmas break!).
Crossed for not failing my two tests on Friday (AP History and Honors Chem).
Crossed for  my brain to start functioning again (it’s stopped in anticipation of Christmas break).
Crossed for landing a good role in the Spring musical (the Sound of Music!).
Crossed for a good Winter (not like last year).
Crossed for my Christmas wishes (I’ve got quiet a few).
Crossed for a really great social life during break (Hayley Joy, Deanna, Neal, Danike, movies, cooking, Brent, shopping…).
Crossed for snow days (we haven’t had any yet this year!).
Crossed for my Christmas list (mostly consisting of a ceramic curling iron, gift cards, and books).
Crossed for a good Solo and Ensemble performance (even though it’s in January).
Crossed for raising my grades (Two A’s, but I need to get my two B’s up…).
Crossed for a chance to organize my school notebooks and binders ASAP (all my school stuff is in one three-subject notebook).
Crossed for my varsity jacket (it’s ready, but my mom wont’ give it to me until Christmas – because it’s not like I need a winter coat before then, before halfway through the winter, not like it’s seven degrees farenheit or anything).
Crossed that my mom will be happier this Winter (this time of year has been hard for everyone since her dad died).
Crossed that the people that I can’t get enough of couldn’t get enough of me (it has been improving…).
Crossed for crazy amounts of photo shoots over break (I swear, I’m so itchy for some.)

Crossed for being able to uncross them.