Why We Work

For Valentine’s Day, Bonnie wrote a post  about why she and her husband work (for a link-up I missed. sad face.). I’ve been thinking about it since I read her post, and the idea of writing the same regarding my relationship has been brewing in my mind.

Last night I had a wonderful evening with my fiancee full of a great dinner, pre-marital counseling, and ugly-laughing at hilarious Youtube videos. Driving home, I felt especially grateful for my relationship and decided to finally write this post when I got home.

Why we work
We work because we’re individuals. We have out own friends, jobs, schedules, and tastes. We each have our own worlds, and we like it that way.
We work because our relationship is “should-free.” We know each other’s insecurities, strengths, weaknesses, an bad habits – and we love each other all the more for them. I don’t have to make dinner every single night, and he doesn’t mind getting Chinese takeout.
We work because we know it’s not always fun to be in a relationship, and we don’t take that personally. Sometimes one of us is having a really crummy day and in a funk and there’s just nothing the other can do to make it immediately better. And that’s okay.
We work because we don’t take other things personally. We don’t text each other compulsively all day everyday – and we know that’s not reflective of the quality of our relationship. I don’t think I’ve ever been in his Facebook profile picture (or that he’s ever had his relationship status on his profile) and that doesn’t mean anything’s wrong. Sometimes one of us just doesn’t feel like cuddling. And we know that’s not the end of our relationship.
We work because we ugly laugh. The kind of laughing where your mouth is just totally, unflatteringly wide open, your head is thrown back, you’re kinda crying, and you can’t even speak. This happens at least once on the daily. We thrive off of being goofy together, and that does miracles for our relationship.
We work because he’s bad at reading minds, and I’m bad at being subtle. Seriously, I just say whatever I need, want, or think. Which many people think is a fault (and it can be), but it’s a godsend for our relationship because what Luke really needs is for me to be upfront and never try that “hint-dropping” thing and hope he reads my mind. That system doesn’t work for either of us. He doesn’t end up getting it, and I’m too impatient to try and wait for him to.
We work because we’re not trying to impress each other.  It can be one of those days where I haven’t showered, am not wearing makeup, and am wearing sweats and he adores me and makes me feel just as special as any other day. I can make an accidentally crappy dinner and it’s no big deal.
We work because we both know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we’re on each other’s team, unconditionally. “You and me against the world.”
And, most importantly, we work because we both agree that if one of our children ever weirdly ends up with some kind of super power we would come alongside them and help them learn about and control it instead of hiding them away (see: obligatory pop culture reference to Frozen).
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Wednesday Things

You get in life what you have the courage to ask for.

  1. Short wedding update: We don’t know anything about anything. Due to a recent sudden adjustment down to one income in my family, our vision for this wedding has really changed. However, I’m trying to stay positive, keep and open mind, and not be afraid to ask for help! This process is really testing our networking and connections. I know everyone says that “it’s who you know,” but, really, it’s who you know.  I’m adjusting and trying to be flexible. I know I started off the first couple weeks of being engaged getting so far ahead, but now I feel like I’m back behind square one. Send good vibes my way. I’m waiting to be led to all the answers!
  2. The deadline for my graduate school application is Saturday, and I have everything turned in! This feels so good. I have no idea whether or not I’m actually going to go, but I applied to start in Fall 2015, so I have time to take a break, enjoy getting married, seek other certifications/training, and generally just figure all that out later.
  3. Most of you have probably needed to obtain a letter of recommendation for college or grad school or whatever. I remember how great it felt to read the letters I needed from high school teachers for undergrad applications, but did you know that you can’t read them for grad school applications? Either the professors send them straight to the grad admissions office, or they have to seal it in an envelope with their signature over the seal and I have to deliver it. DO YOU KNOW how hard it is not to just crack open that sucker and read it? I’m so bummed I’ll never know what my favorite professors said about me! =]
  4. Also: Bummer of the day story! I had a few extra minutes before I needed to leave for class this morning, so I was browsing Twitter and saw that my school had posted about a career fair they were hosting today (no times or anything, just what room it was in). I frantically dug up my resume, dusted it off and updated it (btw I’m really proud of it now), printed a dozen copies, and ran out the door. I ended up being late to my class by a couple minutes and didn’t have time to grab coffee or breakfast. As soon as my class ended at 1 I ran over to the career fair – only to be told it had just ended at 1. So that was lame. Right after, I called a restaurant I had applied to last week and they told me they’re not hiring (of course they aren’t – it’s the slow season for every business). Sigh. I wonder what it’s like to work doing something you love.
  5. The pants I wore to look nice at the career fair did not allow me to wear my boots today, so all this walking around campus has left mud and salt and slush sprayed up on the back of my pant legs. Whomp whomp.
  6. I don’t know why, but lately I’ve been hearing a lot of really self-judgmental voices in my head. It’s really unhelpful. Every time I hear one I just respond with the opposite of what it said. Winter blues, maybe.
  7. I just got some gratitude pen pals! One of my all-time favorite gals, Brandy, has been emailing 3 simple things she is grateful for every day with her friend Amber for more than a year now. In my research as a wellness major, I know that just simply writing things down that you’re grateful for every day is extremely good for your psyche and attitude. I reached out on Twitter to ask for partners, and a couple people and I have started this practice. I’m happy to be investing in my attitude and promoting my own positive psychology!
  8. My laughter class is one I’ve mentioned a couple times previously, but I will continue to do so because I can’t even believe this is a class at my university. Last week, we spent a whole class period watching Bill Cosby stand-up routines. Last Wednesday, my professor walked in and said “today, we’ll focus on babies and children and the effects of laughter in those populations.” I was expecting an actual lecture that day. NOPE – we spent an hour watching baby videos on Youtube. On Monday, we spent the first 45 minutes of class all looking up funny Youtube commercials (Bad Lip Reading took the cake!).
    This is a real class, guys.
  9. I wanted to cut back on my subscription boxes this month, but it’s Valentine’s month coming up, so I’m just way too hopeful that all my boxes will be good ones!
  10. Everyone’s said it, but: IT’S COLD. All this bundling up while walking around and never ever taking my coat off and always having my feet be cold is just making me feel like I live in a constant state of… feeling cumbersome? Yeah. It’s just cumbersome to move around feeling cold and constricted all the time.

Good news: Even though I missed the career fair, at least I accidentally look professional for a presentation in my laughter class.

Join me in trying to stay positive, everyone. It’s not easy but just consciously making the effort helps your brain and attitude!