These might be for you.

My personal notes to a potential suitor:

#1: Music is a huge part of my life. I will introduce you to my favorite artists. And I will be looking for some indication of what you think. If you love it, let me know. If you don’t, tell me why.

#2: Please dance with me. =] Goofily(?) and all other kinds of dancing. Don’t worry, I suck at it, too.

#3: A lack of respect towards me is a deal-breaker. No excuses.

#4: It’d be totally awesome if you would be all about holidays with me. Including National Get Over It Day. (March 9th)

#5: Please let me vent. And, if you disagree with me, please let me finish ranting before you say that you can see the other side. If you make an argument for the opposite side while I’m ranting, it’ll probably just start a fight.

#6: Please, please don’t close off. Especially during an argument. Let’s always talk, okay?

#7: Do not text me 24/7. Everyday? Sure, I’m down with that. But let me get to sleep at a reasonable hour. Let me go to school. And don’t freak if it takes me a little while to respond. I have a life.

#8: Be okay with no PDA. Holding hands is fine, but let’s not ever be attatched at the hip.

#9: Honesty is an absolute must. It’s a core value for me, so I hope it is for you, too. Don’t be the type to just tell me what you think I want to hear.

#10: Yes, I probably would prefer to buy the book as opposed to borrowing it from the library.

#11: Please don’t be one of those people who freak out about their picture being taken. I think you’re cute. And bad pictures happen to even the best of us. A picture is only embarrassing if you choose to be embarrassed by it. And you are not any picture of you. If necessary, and in those situations where you really don’t want your picture taken (I have those, too), please be mature about it and respond by saying something like, “honey, please not today. We’ll get pictures together some other time, okay?” as opposed to freaking out. Or you could suggest a compromise: Let me take a couple pictures in return for letting you pick the next movie we watch or having me pay for dinner sometime.

#12: On that note, if a compromise is to be made, let’s specify at the moment it is being suggested what the conditions are for each party. Don’t hold it over my head that I owe you something.

#13: One word: HYGIENE!

#14: Please don’t ever feed me. It’s so awkward. For me and everyone else.

#15: Drive me places, but I’d like to drive sometimes, too.

#16: I can pretty much guaruntee that I’ll try to imitate the way you talk. I do that. Please find amusement in it and don’t get offended. I don’t do it to mock you; I love linguistics.

#17: Please, no buzz-cuts.  Have hair.

#18: Please be a fellow musician. But if you are, don’t be critical or try to give me lessons unless I ask you for it.

#19: Be a real man – Love God.

#20: I would absolutely love it if you made “your face” jokes with me. =]  And if you remember that I like Chuck Norris jokes.

#21: If you interacct well with kids, I’ll melt.  =]

 

 

 (inspired by this)

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Forget it all. F5.

Maybe the reason it seems that almost everybody wants some one else’s hair, or wardrobe, or singing voice, or body, etc. is because we’re bored.  

I wonder what would happen if we could forget about what we look like, about what clothes we have in our closets, forget how our voices sound.  What if we woke up tomorrow, seeing ourselves and what we have in new eyes? Instead of getting up and looking in the mirror and thinking, well, I look the same as I always do, what if we could rediscover how we look?

I don’t think I mean anything like a spritual, existential, find-myself-journey. I mean literally.  I want to forget about myself and see it fresh.  Would we be bored with ourselves, or expecting that we’ll look the same way every day, or take ourselves for granted?

I do not want to forget my life. Not my life, my friends, my past. Just myself. I wonder what would happen if we just forgot all the things we’re not happy with and all the things we notice because we’ve lived with ourselves for all our lives. Erase all that from our memories.

Maybe we wouldn’t even notice a lot of them the second time around.

Everything is easier in theory.

In English, we just finished reading Beloved by Toni Morrison (phenominal book). In it, there is a stream-of-consciousness section.  Every week, we have to do two journal entries: One assigned, one that we choose. Today, we wrote our own streams-of-consciousness for our assigned journal entry. 

After I got through the initial I’m-writing-with-a-blue-green-pen-because-my-purple-one-won’t-work-right thoughts, I ended up on one core idea. Because it’s in stream-of-consciousness, the grammar and punctuation are not correct.  That’s how it’s supposed to be. Here’s that part of my writing – right off the paper:

 

 

I love people. The hardest thing about people is when you have to hurt them. How do you comprimise your not wanting to hurt them with your I need to hurt them? How do you take not hurting them and the amuont you need to and take the average? When you have to tell some one something but it hurts or when you have to do something but it hurts. How has the human race lived through life? I mean, how have people not just decided to stop living? and i don’t mean suicide, I’d never, ever do that. I mean going numb or deciding other people are too much to deal with? Do things end up worth everything it takes, eventually? Everything is so much easier in theory. You say oh, I’d do this in situation X, but wwhen situation x actually happens, it starts looking and feeling like the quadratic equation. Is there a math problem that you can use to figure out what to do? Plug in the result you want for Y, plug in who your action and decision will effect for X and Z, plug in the outcome you absolutely DO NOT want as Q, plug your heart into the equation and solve it. Or would that mathmatic equation take the worth and purpose out of life? Take the trial and error and learning out of life? If we had a math problem to make our choices for us, would we stop thinking? stop feeling? stop valuing other people and start viewing them as mere variables?

 

 

 

Consider My Fingers Crossed.

Crossed for the next two days to pass quickly (Christmas break!).
Crossed for not failing my two tests on Friday (AP History and Honors Chem).
Crossed for  my brain to start functioning again (it’s stopped in anticipation of Christmas break).
Crossed for landing a good role in the Spring musical (the Sound of Music!).
Crossed for a good Winter (not like last year).
Crossed for my Christmas wishes (I’ve got quiet a few).
Crossed for a really great social life during break (Hayley Joy, Deanna, Neal, Danike, movies, cooking, Brent, shopping…).
Crossed for snow days (we haven’t had any yet this year!).
Crossed for my Christmas list (mostly consisting of a ceramic curling iron, gift cards, and books).
Crossed for a good Solo and Ensemble performance (even though it’s in January).
Crossed for raising my grades (Two A’s, but I need to get my two B’s up…).
Crossed for a chance to organize my school notebooks and binders ASAP (all my school stuff is in one three-subject notebook).
Crossed for my varsity jacket (it’s ready, but my mom wont’ give it to me until Christmas – because it’s not like I need a winter coat before then, before halfway through the winter, not like it’s seven degrees farenheit or anything).
Crossed that my mom will be happier this Winter (this time of year has been hard for everyone since her dad died).
Crossed that the people that I can’t get enough of couldn’t get enough of me (it has been improving…).
Crossed for crazy amounts of photo shoots over break (I swear, I’m so itchy for some.)

Crossed for being able to uncross them.