Look, I know I’m already week into February, but it has been pretty chaotic for me so far and that is why I’m late to post my goals for the month.
Reflecting back on January, not a whole lot particularly sticks out in my mind. Some bridal expos, lots of vendor interviews, bouncing between being really bored with school and being really overwhelmed with it. Our music for Chorale this semester is really hard but really wonderful.
Aside from my resolutions, I don’t think I ever really listed any specific goals for the month. A lot of my blogger friends do new goals each month, and look back at how they did the month before. Personally, I really like this system! It’s much better than only setting goals annually. It seems more manageable, applicable, and effective. Also, you can spend one month developing one habit, and then move on to another habit the next month. That being said, here are my goals for February!
- Ask for help more often.
This is going to be really important. My wedding is going to include a lot of personalization and DIY projects and such. I’ve got a lot on my plate, and even if I didn’t I would need a ton of help pulling a whole wedding together. Fortunately, I have a wonderful community of people supporting my family and we’re all going to orchestrate an amazing day. Even aside from the wedding things, I need to be okay asking for help more often when it comes to school projects, asking for time to sit and focus on schoolwork rather than having to entertain, asking for grace for when I slip up. This month, I really need to try and better understand that I can do anything, but I can’t do everything.
- Practice flexibility
Again, this is very much intended for all sorts of wedding ideas and concepts. However, it’s also important to practice this in my life in general. I’ve never been particularly spectacular at being flexible and taking time to think before reacting to news or a change. Also, money is tight, and practicing flexibility to adjust to more of penny-pinching will be really helpful.
- Make a habit of working out regularly and making healthier choices
I feel like this is almost an obligatory inclusion in every list of goals. Also? I weighed myself for the first time in a long time and I definitely do not weigh what I thought I weighed – which is awesome on one hand because it’s exactly the motivation I needed to actually get back to my healthier and more active habits.
- Do a better job keeping up with school
This one really doesn’t need any further explanation. I have a lot of assignments to get done every week, and I just have to do them.
- Really rest more
I lay around and relax all the time, but I don’t spend enough time actually resting. I mean meditating, getting to sleep earlier, reading books, remembering to breathe – the beneficial relaxation. The kind of relaxation that isn’t continually watching just one more episode of Netflix in bed before actually going to sleep, or hitting the snooze until it’s the absolute latest I can get up and get ready for the day.
- Keep trying to be more gentle with myself
Stop getting angry at myself easily, take breaks when I need to, remember to say no to things I can’t handle taking on right now, not holding myself to unrealistic goals consistently (like never letting my room get messy at all?), not beating myself up about silly little things, and trying to let myself better shrug off negativity.
- Learn to be my own hero
This has been my mantra since one of my absolute favorite ladies said it on Twitter. Instead of always daydreaming about that girl I wish I were or dream of becoming one day, I’m working on realizing that I’m already completely who I who I want to be, and I just need to let that show more often. I already ran 3 miles in a blizzard this week – there’s nothing else I can’t do. I can make myself workout as much as I’d like. I can buckle down and get my schoolwork done. I can be kind to every person I meet. I can dress as nice as I’d like every day. I can plan a wedding. I can make friends. I can encourage others. I can already do everything I wish I could do.
Even though some of these goals are are kind of vague and aren’t “measurable” (for instance, losing X number of pounds, achieving a certain GPA, accomplishing a specific task), they’re all really important, and maintainable (or at least practicable). Every day is just a process to be better.
Lately, I’ve had a few things get stuck in my head that I just want to write about, or even just share with someone – anyone. And what do I love more than a good list? So today, we’re putting the two together. (Also, I’ve missed my Wednesday Things for the last couple weeks from the holidays, so I’m just writing things out instead of saving it all for Wednesday).
- I’ve lost track of the link where I originally read it, but one of the more powerful (and effective) strategies to judge others less that I have ever come across is this: next time you find yourself starting to judge someone else based on their looks, imagine that person standing in front of you, looking you in the eyes, and saying “I’m beautiful.” Just like some say doing this to yourself makes your brain start to believe it, you will begin to start seeing it in others.
- I just finished reading The Husband’s Secret by Liane Moriarty for Bon’s monthly book club (lovely gal! I love that she runs a book club through her blog!), and I didn’t really expect to love it when I started it. However, as things progress (especially into the last half of the book) I knew it had some amazing observations of and questions to ask human nature. At least to me, it did.
- When my grandmother passed in October, the core strategy I’ve clung to is to drop all my self-criticism – about how I feel like grieving, about what I feel, and in general. I feel like, initially, I used this escape from my own self-judgement as an excuse to procrastinate, indulge, and overspend; but right now I feel as if this break has naturally come round to a state of mind where I feel genuinely motivated for self-development and self-improvement goals in contrast to the years I’ve spend trying to shame or guilt myself into “fixing” things about myself. I’ve got goals, plans, and a support system. I’m good to go.
- Speaking of self-improvement: thank goodness New Year’s started in the middle of the week, am I right? I got four or five days to flesh out my resolutions, set up my plans, and indulge in the last few treats (sweets, not going to the gym, not keeping my room clean, etc.) that I’m limiting a little more in this coming year, starting Monday. These last couple days have also been especially restful since the holidays really didn’t offer too much peace or time to relax. Thus is the life of a server. Now that the holidays are done, we’re in one of our slowest months for the restaurant industry, and even though the nights I do have to go in are slow, part of me feels that they are a nice reprieve from the crazy holiday shifts and hours I’ve worked this past month.
- One of my resolutions is to try and take the extra moment to do a little more for others. I find that, when one suspects someone else needs help or someone to talk to or encouragement, it’s so easy to assume some one else will be there for them, and so we aren’t. In reality, this often leads to no one being there for them. It’s another demonstration of the bystander effect.
- I know I mentioned this before, but I am absolutely loving audio books! Gone are the days where I have to sit still and read and feel like I may be giving up time to do something else more productive. I listen to books whenever I’m in the car. I drive a lot. In the last two months, I’ve gone through 7 books (that’s almost a book a week!), They make my frequent hour-long commutes go by so quickly, and I’m never scared of being too sleepy to drive home late, and I’m excited about seeing if I like using them while I work out. I’m currently using Audible, but I recently discovered that there’s an app call Overdrive that lets you select a local library, sign in with your library card, and download free audiobooks to your phone or computer (here’s one link for more information).
- Um, all I’ve been eating lately is Thai food and yellow curry? One of my resolutions is to start making it myself. Buying it daily is… expensive. Whomp whomp.
- I’m watching the series House of Cards on Netflix. I did not expect it to be my thing, but holy crap, do I find it exhilarating. It’s so different than anything else I usually watch, but the story and characters are amazing and at the end of every episode I always find myself wanting more. Let me know if you watch it so we can talk!
- For years and years, I’ve pictured “the girl I want to be.” Heck, I’ve even made lists and plans on my computer of how to become that girl. However, this year is about realizing I already am that girl. I’m already exactly who I want to be, but sometimes some bad habits of taking the easy route or worrying too much or losing perspective get in the way. This means that, instead of seeing some perfect goal I hopelessly aim to obtain, I tell myself I already have/am it, and I just have to to choose not to fall prey to an obstacle and stay true to me. Helllloooo perspective change!
- Another resolution/goal? ORGANIZATION. I want to go container- and label- and file-crazy this year. There’s no way being organized can hurt, and it does so much for my psyche knowing that I know exactly where to find things I need. Committing to making organization a habit now only strengthens my ability to continue on with it for the rest of my life.
All in all, I feel excited, positive, and confident for 2014. What are your resolutions? What are some thoughts that have been sticking in your mind lately? What are you excited about?