- Shirts with miscellaneous slogans. I saw one Friday that said “I ❤ My money.” Do you, sir? Who the eff doesn’t? It really isn’t necessary.
- Obnoxiousity and attitude problems.
- Using Twitter only to obsess over the Jonas Brothers or some other adolescent fad.
- Complaining about the fact that you have to go to school in general. It’s free education! Do you know how many places in the world would love to have access to that? (don’t get me wrong, we all have those days when we don’t want to go for specific reasons in our lives, I get that.)
- Simulating suicide. It might just be my school, but mimicking shooting yourself in the head with your fingers positioned like a gun. This is uber unnecessary not to mention insensitive.
- Referring to your computer as a “compy.”
- Referring to your boyfriend as “Boyfriend” on the Internet. I think it’s slightly obnoxious. He has a name. If the fact that he’s your boyfriend is not significant to the point of your post or blurb or tweet, it’s very unnecessary.
In English, we just finished reading Beloved by Toni Morrison (phenominal book). In it, there is a stream-of-consciousness section. Every week, we have to do two journal entries: One assigned, one that we choose. Today, we wrote our own streams-of-consciousness for our assigned journal entry.
After I got through the initial I’m-writing-with-a-blue-green-pen-because-my-purple-one-won’t-work-right thoughts, I ended up on one core idea. Because it’s in stream-of-consciousness, the grammar and punctuation are not correct. That’s how it’s supposed to be. Here’s that part of my writing – right off the paper:
I love people. The hardest thing about people is when you have to hurt them. How do you comprimise your not wanting to hurt them with your I need to hurt them? How do you take not hurting them and the amuont you need to and take the average? When you have to tell some one something but it hurts or when you have to do something but it hurts. How has the human race lived through life? I mean, how have people not just decided to stop living? and i don’t mean suicide, I’d never, ever do that. I mean going numb or deciding other people are too much to deal with? Do things end up worth everything it takes, eventually? Everything is so much easier in theory. You say oh, I’d do this in situation X, but wwhen situation x actually happens, it starts looking and feeling like the quadratic equation. Is there a math problem that you can use to figure out what to do? Plug in the result you want for Y, plug in who your action and decision will effect for X and Z, plug in the outcome you absolutely DO NOT want as Q, plug your heart into the equation and solve it. Or would that mathmatic equation take the worth and purpose out of life? Take the trial and error and learning out of life? If we had a math problem to make our choices for us, would we stop thinking? stop feeling? stop valuing other people and start viewing them as mere variables?
I love music. Choir is an extremely high priority for me. My school’s choir has some really amazing songs this winter, so I thought I’d share them:
“There Will Be Rest” – Frank Ticheli
MSVMA Honor Choir performed this last year; that’s what the link in the name is to. It’s gorgeous. The lyrics are one of the last poems written by Sara Teasdale. She committed suicide at the age of 48.
“There will be rest, and sure stars shining
Over the roof-tops crowned with snow,
A reign of rest, serene forgetting,
The music of stillness holy and low.
I will make this world of my devising,
Out of a dream in my lonely mind,
I shall find the crystal of peace, – above me
Stars I shall find.”
Another one we’re doing is “Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening” The lyrics are a Robert Frost poem:
“Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep. ”
We’re also singing Carol of the Bells (Peter J. Wilhousky), There Is No Rose (Gary Garcia), The Sleigh (Kountz), The First Breath of Winter (Phyllis Wolfe-White), and a few others. But I couldn’t find any videos of them, though.
However, while I was youtubing, I came across this. I say you should watch it. It’s hardcore. Lol.
“If you want to trace what he said to me back to your self, go right ahead. But you’re wrong. You aren’t responsible for anything that she does. She’s too dependant on you and you’ve realized that and stepped up to try to meet her needs. Your co-dependancy kicked in and now you still want to help her instead of doing what’s best for both of you: stop talking to each other. You won’t have her pulling you down like that. If you guys did stop talking, I know it’d be difficult for both of you, but she’ll get over and so will you. You aren’t responsible for a single thing she does. It’s not your job to take care of her. It’s all really petty and pathetic that she just moved into college and she’s got this whole new opportunity and fresh start and she needs to get the bleep away from you.”
“But I know she’s going to kill herself. I know it. I ……. I’ve talked her back from it three times now…….”
“Look, she’s either serious about killing herself or she just wants attention. I’m believing more of the latter. She seems like the type who is MANIPULATING YOU for attention!”
How do you know if some one is serious or not about suicide and not just talking about it for attention? When do you know to back off and let them get over being so attached to you and when they’re serious and take action?
Should you talk to some one every single time they bring up committing suicide regardless if it’s only for attention, just in case? And indulge in your co-dependancy and their needy-ness? Even if you have reason to believe that it’s for attention? How do you know if they’re actually serious?
Or should you let it go, making the call that they are just being manipulative and will move on eventually? What if you end up being proven wrong?
What do you do in a manipulative relationship when the other person threatens to commit suicide? How do you get out of that?
What the heck are you supposed to do?