One of the most awkward things in the world…

You know that favorite pen of yours? Or maybe it’s a really nice mechanical pencil. You use it all the time and, even though you know better, you like to think it magically improves your handwriting.

But  one day, you can’t find it.  You settle for other writing utensils, maybe consider buying a new one of the same brand.

And then about a week after you lost it, you see some one in your class room writing with it. There’s two ways in which to approach this situation:

     1.  Be straightforward. Say, “Hey, that’s my pen!” They’ll get a little freaked out and uncomfortable by your possessiveness/need to have that specific pen. This interaction is awkward.
     2.  Be subtle. “So… Where’d you get that pen?” They’ll feel uncomfortable because you’re inquiring about their writing utensil as if it were a cute top. Chances are that they’ll have one of two answers: “Uh, I’ve had it…” Or “Uh… I found it the other day…” If it’s the latter, then you’ll probably say something like “Um, I think it might be mine…. I lost one just like it not too long ago…”       Either way, they’re feeling awkward.

   If they’re one of those pen/pencil hijackers that take writing utinsils from your book bag or when they’re clipped onto the binding of your spiral notebook because it has a cuter color of ink or it has more of an eraser, they probably think they’ve put in too much effort in acquiring said writing utensil to admit they just found it and risk you being 98% sure it’s yours and taking it back.

     If they’re an honest person and they admit they just found it some where, and you declare that you think it’s probably yours, then both of you will probably uncomfortably feeze for a moment, and they’ll slowly hand you said pen or pencil. From there, it’s entirely your fault whether or not the awkwardness continues.     Unless they have no back-up. Then they have to borrow a pen. Major awkward alert if they ask you if you have an extra.

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Second-Hand Fail.

 

I have a picture of one of my friends “smoking” a candle up on my Facebook. The caption reads: “Smoking fail.”

His response?:  “Which means Haley has been poisoned with second-hand fail.”

 

 

 

Thing to smile about #12:  Laughing so hard your sides hurt. You’ve all had those times. You know it. 

 

=D

The Truth About Middle School No One Will Admit Until They’re Past It.

     Possibly the most amusing thing I’ve said recently:

 

“Yeah, eighth grade was weird for everybody because we were all ‘BlEhAH! Puberty!'”

 

 

 

Thing to smile about (at least for me) #8: Being happy I was only in middle school publicly for one year. And being able to laugh about it and myself of back then.

Yay For Typos and a Lack of Commas.

(Over Twitter)

 

D: “A coworker is walking around the office with a Bob Marley dreads hat and a shirt with Jesus holding a dinosaur and Elvis with some KFC.”

Me: “Wait, is your coworker or Jesus holding Elvis? And is your coworker, Elvis, or Jesus holding the KFC?”

Me: “Wait, your coworker is walking around with JESUS AND ELVIS?!”

B: ” i knew elvis wasn’t dead!”

Me: “Why would he be holding a dinosaur while he’s walking around with Jesus, anyway?” 

Me: ” How does he hold dinosaur, Elvis, AND KFC? ”

D: “Before receive more weird tweets, I should clarify that pictures of Jesus and Elvis were printed on my coworker’s shirt.”

D: “I only wish my coworker was hanging out with Elvis and Jesus.”

B: “but ……. Elvis isint dead right? :-P”

D: “ELVIS IS DEAD?! …Then who did I see at the wedding I went to in Vegas last week?”

Me: “That was John Lennon.”

B: “no, elvis never died. He’s hanging out with the little green dudes in area 51”

Me: “Gosh, do you think Jesus listens to Elvis? Are Jews allowed to eat chicken?”

D: “Are you kidding? Didn’t you know he’s the headlining entertainment for the Marriage Feast? ;)”

B: “wait a minute ….. You went to vegas??”

 

Thing to be happy about #6:  This conversation.