Overcast Eyes

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.
-Nelson Mandela

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
-Alan Kay

At the end of the game, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.

What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.
-Emerson

There is a poem to be done by the bird with only one wing.
Deanna

(I did a photoshoot today and couldn’t resist sharing one of my favorite frames. Here you go… )

img_04861

Consider My Fingers Crossed.

Crossed for the next two days to pass quickly (Christmas break!).
Crossed for not failing my two tests on Friday (AP History and Honors Chem).
Crossed for  my brain to start functioning again (it’s stopped in anticipation of Christmas break).
Crossed for landing a good role in the Spring musical (the Sound of Music!).
Crossed for a good Winter (not like last year).
Crossed for my Christmas wishes (I’ve got quiet a few).
Crossed for a really great social life during break (Hayley Joy, Deanna, Neal, Danike, movies, cooking, Brent, shopping…).
Crossed for snow days (we haven’t had any yet this year!).
Crossed for my Christmas list (mostly consisting of a ceramic curling iron, gift cards, and books).
Crossed for a good Solo and Ensemble performance (even though it’s in January).
Crossed for raising my grades (Two A’s, but I need to get my two B’s up…).
Crossed for a chance to organize my school notebooks and binders ASAP (all my school stuff is in one three-subject notebook).
Crossed for my varsity jacket (it’s ready, but my mom wont’ give it to me until Christmas – because it’s not like I need a winter coat before then, before halfway through the winter, not like it’s seven degrees farenheit or anything).
Crossed that my mom will be happier this Winter (this time of year has been hard for everyone since her dad died).
Crossed that the people that I can’t get enough of couldn’t get enough of me (it has been improving…).
Crossed for crazy amounts of photo shoots over break (I swear, I’m so itchy for some.)

Crossed for being able to uncross them.

9-15-08

 

       All things considered, today has turned out to be really great! Well, kind of.  I feel really good today.  I got a lot of reading done in choir (shh!).  Right now I’m reading The Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut. I’ve read it about… a fourth of the way through (if that) about three of four times, but this time I’m farther into the book than I’ve gotten previously and I’m excited.

       In second hour, Intro to Statistics, we had a test. I asked for the date of today to write at he top. “It’s the fifteenth,” some one told me. At first, I wrote it without a thought. Then I realized:  Tomorrow’s my birthday!  I can’t believe it slipped my mind!

       Anyway, I feel pretty good about the test. I’ll be knocked off my feet if I get 100% or even 99%, but I think I did pretty well. The test made that class period feel really short. And I managed to sneak a Quaker Oats bar. (And I so almost spelled “Quaker” as “quacker”.)  I hope no one’s allergic to peanuts in that class….

       In Honors Chemistry, we got the test we took on Friday back. I got eight wrong out of fifty-five total questions. Sounds okay, right? It’s an 85%. I left class last Friday feeling really good about it!  GR.   But I did get moved to the front which will, hopefully, help me do better on the next test.  And what I hate the most is that this test is the first I ever checked my answers for! You know how you’re always told that “if you finish your test early, you should go over your answers again and check them before turning it in”? I’ve never done that! Friday was the first time I ever actually went over the answers for each problem.

       Forth hour was pretty fun. We read Alice Watson’s essay, “Beauty: When the Other Dancer Is the Self,” for most of the time and my teacher read some excerpts from a journals we turned in on Friday, including an entry about hunting and a twelve-point buck with a “wide rack.” Yeah, the whole class burst out laughing but my teacher couldn’t figure it out.

 

       Dear Reader, I love you and I think you are the cat’s pajamas.

 

       Yeah, that was Izzy’s reaction, too. I told her that after reading it in my book. I showed her that line and she found just as much amusement as I did. I decided to steal her planner and write this newly discovered phrase all over the pages. It’s not uncommon for us to do that (last week, she screwed me over by writing “I just lost the game” on several pages). So I wrote all over it. On dates that are important to me and holidays and in the weekends. 

“Izzy, I think you are the cat’s pajamas!”
“You are THE cats pajamas!!”
“Cat + Pajamas = IZ!”
I even drew a picture of a cat and of pajamas.  

       Later in class, I took her planner again. I flipped through the pages to this week. My birthday is tomorrow and I was gonna write it in there. But, wait. I already wrote something about it in that week.  I flipped to the front…

       It wasn’t her planner. It wasn’t any one’s who was in the class. It was a guy I know of and really, really, really can’t stand. J.G. He is (I haven’t seen him around lately, though) a tall, rather large boy with a chubby face who took choir in eighth grade to have a blow-off class. The last I knew of him, he was immature, obnoxious, disrespectful, annoying, and just drove me up a wall!  But he left his planner in a class before mine, and now will find a humorous, nonsensical phrase repeated numerous times to some one he doesn’t know, anonymously.

       And, as evidenced by this nice, lenghty-ish post of actual writing, I had TIME! I had absolutely NO homework! None! Zilch!   Yay!

 

———-

 

       And I just got back from a surprise birthday party thrown for me! I’m so glad I didn’t have any homework at all today. If I had, I wouldn’t have been able to do it. It was very, very fun. Although, I must admit, very emotionally draining. There were people there from several different groups of mine. My drama group, and old drama group, kids I met through my mom, my ex boyfriend (but current best friend – still. Yay), and my sister and her boyfriend. The thing is, I act differently around each group. Well, no, not differently. But I have different walls still standing with each different person and there were people that intimidated me, not matter how much I didn’t show it.

       It was an emotionally draining night, filled with more than its fair share of embarrassing moments that caused me to want to crawl under a rock until I could turn back time, laughing, awkwardness, and – naturally – surprises. All in all, though, a good night.

 

 

 

     Thing to smile about #11: Having a birthday party for the first time since I turned ten.

An Upperclassman Now!

I’m home after the first day of school! I’m back to public school full time. Again. It started off really well because, even though I had to wake up at 5:30, I had a stupid good hair day! Just to clarify, that means my hair looked so good, it was stupid. And I was on the radio while I was doing my make up! I called in and the topic was “what are you looking forward to about school, and what are you dreading about it?”

My answer?  I’m looking forward to utilizing my new wardrobe! But I was dreading the fact that you don’t find out which lunch you have until third hour. I’m always so worried that I’ll go to my third hour class and it’ll be empty and locked. Okay, that’d mean that I have A lunch. So after that, I would go upstairs to lunch. By then, the lines would be horribly long and it’d take forever for me to get food. Then I’d stand on my toes in the cafeteria, looking very much like the first day of school, trying to find some one I know. By the time I do (if I do), I’ll have ten or fifteen minutes left. It’d all be downhill from there. Thankfully, that didn’t happen, but I’ll get to that later.

My mom drove me to school this morning (not for moral support, but to save me the embarrassment of holding a giant poster for AP English for a while at the bus stop and having to carry and protect it around with me through bus conditions, of which I had no idea what to expect). We listened to Life Expectancy by Dean Koontz in the car on the way there.

My first hour is Chorale, which was nice because I’ve been in it for two years now already and it was comfortable to start off with that. Hopefully this year will go by much more smoothly than last year. Before the first concert, (our first actual performance was a funeral because) a boy named Tim, a bass in choir, died. Our Winter concert was moved to a nearby middle school because of a bomb threat at the high school – we learned that they were shutting down the whole building AFTER we had set up the entire bake sale. The next concert was enjoyably interrupted by the fire alarm going haywire in the middle of one of our songs. The last concert was the only one that went as expected.

My choir director is big on making sure we understand rules. This year, my school is actually enforcing the cell phone and dress code policies (now they’re not just taking our phones for the day, they’re keeping them until the next Monday). She went through our handbooks and skimmed over and lectured about different things.

One rule that she pointed out is “pornography or other inappropriate display may not be used to decorate the lockers.” After the initial giggling of the class, a sweet girl named Molly shouted out, “What!?”   Now, Molly is a really sweet girl. She’s adorable and naive and loves Disney, musicals, taking pictures, and the Jonas Brothers.   It. Was. Hilarious. When she reacted like that. Of course, she meant it as, “What? People actually do that?” But it sounded as if she was miffed because they don’t allow lockers to be decorated with porn, and everyone knew how she meant it and how it sounded. Believe me, it was a lot funnier if you were there and especially if you know Molly.

Continue reading

The trouble with inventing friends.

     My [real, live] friend and I made up a mutual friend. Although I forget the actual name we decided upon, we agreed to call him “Shoe.”  We also have two actual mutual friends that we both saw each week at the time. We created Shoe to have messages “from”, to pass to each other via our actual friends. No real point to it except amusement, I suppose. Anyway, it stuck and we’ll give each other updates on how Shoe is doing. Thanks to Facebook, our most recent conversation about him went like this:

 

Me: “Shoe says hey.

He misses you.
In a strange way.”

Her: “Uh oh. Last time he missed me in a strange way, I ended up being duct taped to a wall outside of Nashville…

You’d best tell him I say hello.”

Me: “I remember that.

Mm… This was a different strange way.
Nevertheless, I shall tell him so.”

Her: “Oh gosh, please don’t tell me that you helped. That was brutal. I didn’t sleep for a week afterwards I was so keyed up.

How so? What should I expect?
Thanks. Oh, and will you tell him that he should call me?”

Me: “I didn’t help. Not me. I’m nice. I was stalking him, trying to call ahead to the hardware stores, telling him not to sell him any kind of adhesive.

This time, I would expect hog-tying, postage stamps, craft glitter, some rubber bands, and – better safe than sorry – some ramen noodle.”

Her: “Oh my goodness, no. Please.. Haley, you have to save me. That stuff is.. the epitome of fright!! How am I supposed to survive this?!? What has gotten into him anyway?”

 

        So here’s to make-believe friends and missing people in strange ways.